Sherlock – AT LAST!

Today, in celebration of Sherlock’s return to the American airwaves, I’m re-blogging a guest post I did a couple of months ago for the NERD HERD READS. (Thanks to RachelMarie for inviting me!)

Torn Between Two Sherlocks
~ Confessions of an Addict ~

When RachelMarie invited me to do a guest post for The NerdHerd Reads, I was excited but also a bit at a loss. My debut novel DREAM BOY is coming out next summer – which is mega-thrilling for me and my coauthor Madelyn Rosenberg, but it’s maybe not the timeliest of topics as we approach the doldrums of winter.Write about your writing process, RachelMarie suggested.

Ok, I thought. I write. All the time. This should be easy.

At which point I sat down at my computer, typed “WRITING PROCESS,” stood up, wandered around the house, ate a piece of toast, sat back down at the computer, retweeted some random stuff, and traipsed off to check on the dog.

That pretty much IS my writing process. Which may explain why I’m not meeting my National Novel Writing Month goals. Ah well.

Several toasts and dogs later, I eventually found my way back to the NerdHerd site to see what there might rouse my muse. It was then that I noticed RachelMarie’s Sherlock Challenge. The heavens parted, angels sang, and I knew my topic. Because while DREAM BOY is half a year away, what IS right around the corner? Come on, you know this….

That’s right. Season Three of The Most Awesome of Awesomes. I’m speaking of course of the BBC’s SHERLOCK, premiering in the US January 19.

So, here’s the thing: Since Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock left us wondering how he faked his own death so he could go terrorize hobbits and the Starship Enterprise, another Sherlock—Jonny Lee Miller’s tatted, terse-lipped incarnation—has swooped in and stolen my affections.

Call me fickle? Fair enough. If you’d told me two years ago that I’d be in love with TWO different big-headed Brits who go around poking at dead bodies, I’d… well, I’d probably have thought you were a figment of my imagination and just ignored you. But that doesn’t change the fact that my whorish little heart is confused.

I never intended to fall for Miller. In fact, when I suggested to my thirteen-year-old daughter that we watch Elementary as a sort of stop-gap between seasons of Sherlock, she responded as if I’d told her we were going to eat the cardboard cereal box just because we ran out of Cheerios.

It’s going to be a long time before we get another Sherlock, I said. Let’s just try it and see what happens.

Huffing. Eye-rolling. Silence.

They have a female Watson, I said.

Huff.

Just one episode. Come on. It’s not like one episode is going to kill anybody.

Even to my own ears I sounded like a drug dealer trying to reel in a new customer.

But as it turns out, Jonny Lee Miller is a gateway drug. And now we’re hooked not only on him, but also on Lucy Liu as Watson and on the idea of Holmes as a recovering addict and person-in-progress.

I am, to quote really bad 70’s pop music, “torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool.”

To aid in my confusion, here’s a little something I ran across when I googled “Jonny Lee Miller and Benedict Cumberbatch” to see if anyone else was suffering from Sherlock Disorientation Anxiety.

Check out this promo for Danny Boyle’s 2011 stage version of Frankenstein in which Jonny Lee Miller’s Creature (who morphs into Benedict Cumberbatch’s Creature) is conversing with Benedict Cumberbatch’s Victor Frankenstein (who morphs into Jonny Lee Miller’s Victor Frankenstein).

Keep in mind as you watch this, that I’m not only a Sherlock fangirl, but I’m also obsessed with Mary Shelley’s novel—and in fact tried to convince my coauthor on several occasions that DREAM BOY is really a loose retelling of Frankenstein.

AKKK!!! It’s like I’m the junkie and this is a really, really bad trip.

So, what to do?

Come new year, do I abandon Jonny Lee and his doe-eyed care of bees?Do I schedule a Snuggie Pub Crawl on January 19 to keep me from the temptation that is Sherlock?

Both of these questions I answer with a resounding HECK NO!

I will instead seek to turn myself into (and this time I borrow from the country music cannon) “a two timin’ woman with a heart of solid stone.” I will find out how Sherlock faked his death. I will know why Mycroft is scheming to lure Sherlock to London.In short, I will learn to live with my own whorish heart, and I will love it.

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